Welcome 2015

I have so many plans for this year. But the most important is "is should get a job"
I want to give my parents much money, i want to take them in to a very unforgettable holiday in Bali.
Yeah, i want to get a job in Bali. I don't have a plan to stay in there i just want to go there to get knowledge and experience in that city of 1000 Pura.
I'm gonna miss my parents so much. But first, i want to do what i want to do.
Hehehe i'm talking about job because i already graduated on November 2014. I've got my title "Lirvy Livana Wenas Akim SE"
Alhamdulillah the thesis and comprehensive exam is not as hard as i think before. And now i should think for my future.
Anyway,
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE

too complicated

in the other side, i think i really hate him with all his mistakes. but in the other side, i still love him. i still think i can't live without him. too complicated. i really want to free from this fuckin feeling. that feel that always hurting me. to know that i love you so much and i can't do anything to help my self. i just stay with u with all this pain. you showed me that you love me more. but that STILL NOT ENOUGH. i still searching searching and searching again. now i know why i still with this pain. i don't really forgave you. i still with that pain, i still with that memories, i still with this resentment. i just like a time bomb that ready to explode anytime. i should forgive you, if i really want to stay with you. forgive or not at all.

getting close

i hate to think that graduation day is getting close, but i also hate to thinking if i can't graduate on november. too complicated. i hope i will past all difficult things in this year.

FIGHTING

FIGHTING

FIGHTING

FIGHTING

FIGHTING

FIGHTING

FIGHTING

i'm getting worse

I'm getting worse because of this  disgusting thing. I know  i can  do anything. I co be better if i'm not with him. I have everything and i give up on every pride that I've got its all for you.  For live life with you. And now,  you make me want it all again.  You make mr realize i deserve better. I ❤ U...  But why you did this to me?  Why you make me like a monster now? I lost my self its all because of you. 

My Tumblr

Finally i already customize my Tumblr themes, and i love it

BAD THINGS

actually, when i start to wrote on my blog. i always think about bad things. may be i was accustomed with all bad things in my life. so it follows me every step in my life. i forgot to write all things when i got happy. yess!!! Happy is just a small part in my life. so when i'm happy. i forget everything. as well as to write my beloved Diary or Blog. things that can makes me happy :

* i'm happy when someone i loved hug me, said that he love me, and kiss my forehead

* i'm happy when i meet with my family. i love my family very-very much

* i'm happy when i hanging out with all my friend. doing stupid things and laugh until i'm tired

* i'm happy all about shopping

* i'm happy to design accessories, clothes, room decor, and everything about beauty

and so much more things can makes me happy. i also have so many things to makes me sad, angry, lonely etc (i have so many word about bad things)

i can't put every things that can makes me feel so bad. it's too much. i want to be free from all this feeling. it's hurt me so much. it's makes my life so dark, i don't really know how to control it. i hate everything. i had so many experience that finally makes me like 'this fuckin negative person of thinking'. but for now, YOU!!! you took a big reason for all this bad things and thinking happened to me. i can't remember well all the memories that makes me like this, but for 4 years past, you have a big role in my life.... very big Negative ROLE. but i don't even know. why i still with you, stand by you, love u, caring u. i don't understand with my fuckin mind and my fuckin love to you. i hate to love you. BUT I DID IT. 

you should feel grateful to have me. 

i'm a girlfriend that always think you are not good enough but i just stay with you even i feel all pains that you gave to me. i'm a girlfriend that always think to leave you but just to think to far away from you i'm going crazy. i'm a girlfriend that always hear bad things about you from other people and think 'yes they were right' but i don't leave you. i stay even i know you are not good enough to me. i stay even you always hurt me. I STAY FOR NO REASON. i just think may be, THIS IS THE REAL LOVE.

YOU!!!

if someday i said with all my heart and my logic "enough", if someday i really tired with you, if someday you lose me, that day you lose everything and regret is not enough.

YES!!! I SHOULD

Today is the answer of everything,

i should leave, let's time do it

i don't even know why i should felt this pain. why???? WHY????

he hurting me not just in my heart but now he hurt my body. wow... how amazing u are

u give me something to believe in

"you are not for me, so do i"

u are WORSE than i ever think

U ARE MONSTER

u make me believe ur fckin Love

and now???

u show it

unbelievable

u

hurt

me

in

and

out

YOU BASTARDS!!!!!!