too complicated

in the other side, i think i really hate him with all his mistakes. but in the other side, i still love him. i still think i can't live without him. too complicated. i really want to free from this fuckin feeling. that feel that always hurting me. to know that i love you so much and i can't do anything to help my self. i just stay with u with all this pain. you showed me that you love me more. but that STILL NOT ENOUGH. i still searching searching and searching again. now i know why i still with this pain. i don't really forgave you. i still with that pain, i still with that memories, i still with this resentment. i just like a time bomb that ready to explode anytime. i should forgive you, if i really want to stay with you. forgive or not at all.