I'M GETTING INSANE??

i was found something familiar about Marshanda. Marshanda is one of most popular artist in Indonesia. she had so many sensation as a public figure (but not so many as Syahrini hahaha), but the point is people think she already crazy now. after she post her "carzy" video on youtube and divorce her husband, now she gave statment that her mom is behind of all these problem.

oh whatever, i don;t know well about their problem, but what i know is chacha had a difficult life. whatever what she told is right or wrong, i think she had a VERY BIG WAR in her mind. just like me.

she did everything to be right, she used hijab, she married

but WHAT NOW?

she getting worse. she taking off her hijab, divorced and told everything on media entertainment

that isn't right

THAT'S SO WRONG

but i could understand what she really did, how she think

we are in the same way to think, but we in a different class, family, environment

we just have a same way to thinking

when everything like against us, everything looks so wrong, live life like in prison of freedom. we can't act free. we can't be what we really are. be are wrong. but this is us. this is how we thinking. but i pretty sure. Allah have a great plan for me and for her too.

and for all the people in the world

WELCOME THESIS

i'ts like a nightmare to realize that i should focus on my thesis. I really-really want to be free of everything about collage. so many things in my mind and i don't even have a space to think about my thesis. i want to refresh my mind with everything i want. i also got depressed about JOB. after i graduate, 

then

WHAT SHOULD I DO? 

momy always said "back to Ternate and find Job in here

OMG it's such a really bad future for me, bad lifestyle.... and everything except to be always with my family. that's the big right point for me to stay in there.

but the PROBLEM is

in the reality i will not live with them forever. i will have a family, and i want to find it with my own way.

well

LIFE GETTING DIFFICULT

but once again, i should stronger

1 year past, and this is me

and this is me...

 i still lirvy with full of laugh and smile, but do still with so many problem in my mind

and these some picture about me hihihihi

i think i'm getting worse, i really don't care about anything. i just want to be happy
he hurt me more than i ever think and more than i ever felt. THIS IS HELL
but it doesn't matter, i'm getting stronger
i hate everything about love, love just makes me out of my mind. i lost my self. these 4 years i wouldn't regret it. i just want to learn in it. learn in this

EXPENSIVE EXPERIENCE

how about my life now????

once again i'm getting worse. i'm back in my gloomy life. it's hurt. it's sad. i try so hard to be better. but he break it fast. as fast as light.... i'm lonely... but it doesn't matter. i should strong. because i'm me :)

KKN is coming

when i realize that the day called KKN is coming

i'm happy

but when i felt how busy to follow the procedures,

i have a little bit mad

2 weeks after mid exam is the most exhausting days

but it okey....

i hope it will be nothing in the future

i was scared

every hours in my life

i always felt scared

i don't know why

but i felt it

i scared of so many thing

i scared with my future

i scared with my life

i scared with my after life

i scared for anything

somebody please help me out of this scary life

today at class

Okey, late post of may be 1 days ago,

and this post just save in draft

complicated

my tumblr is back,

even to post photo should use hootsuite.com :D

but it okay, and thanks big thanks Hootsuite

i have watching so many kdrama more than i think

but i got positive thing in kdrama

i realize that a women will get a men for her life

a men that loves her veryveryvery much

sometimes i want my love story same with in the movie

but sometimes i'm scared,

love in a movie full with sacrifice

now

my

life

being

so

complicated

but i hope there are a light come to me

that's light called HAPPINESS